Cap’n Crunch Strawberry Shortcake Crunch Cereal Review

Cap’n Crunch is just the best cereal ever. In all the land.  Disagree and I’ll slap you in that sassy mouth of yours.  We’ve been pretty blessed to enjoy several flavor varieties of Cap’n Crunch over the years – peanut butter, sprinkled donut, cinnamon roll, orange creampop, blueberry pancake, and much more. Very rarely have these flavors disappointed. Jason reviewed the fairly new Chocolatey Berry Crunch and wasn’t too excited about it. He was respectful about his feelings, so he didn’t get slapped.  Plus, there is no better flavor than the original Cap’n Crunch.  No need to jazz that baby up. So, when Cap’n Crunch Strawberry Shortcake Crunch was announced, I was excited, but nervous.  I was exervous.  Nervited.  Anxious. I was anxious.

Strawberry shortcake traditionally has three main components: strawberries, whipped cream, and a light pastry.  This cereal has two different shapes and flavors in it – bright pink balls, and tan rings.  When I smelled it, it smelled almost exactly like traditional Cap’n Crunch.  Not that I’m complaining – because that’s awesomeness in a big ass bag. But this is supposed to be strawberry shortcake. It was disappointing and frustrating.  It was frusappointing.

Maybe it’ll taste more like strawberry shortcake than it smells.  I took a pink ball and popped it in my mouth.  It’s a Crunchberry.  It’s literally a Crunchberry disguised in a neon pink color.  Again – not a BAD thing.  However, not what I was hoping for or expecting.  I took one of the rings, and was delightfully surprised that it tasted different from the normal Cap’n Crunch treasure chests.  It had a slight shortbread flavor to it, with an extra vanilla kick.  It wasn’t what I would expect for strawberry shortcake, but it isn’t the classic Cap’n Crunch.  Perhaps together, they will pop with a strawberry shortcake explosion in my mouth.  A stracakplosion.

Nope.  Noooooope.  This is pretty much Cap’n Crunch with shortbread pieces and Crunchberries.  Damnit.  Again, I’m frusappointed in this cereal.  It’s great – it’s more than great, actually.  It’s awesome cereal because Crunchberries are like the holy grail of cereal pieces.  It’s just not strawberry shortcake.  And the milk did nothing to enhance any kind of strawberry flavor.  Plus, the ratio was all wrong.  It was a nearly 50/50 split between the neon pink balls and the shortbready rings. Actually, more like 60/40 with more balls than rings. Shouldn’t there be more of the shortbready things with the punch of strawberry?  That was awkward and confusing to me.  I’m awkfused.

This was a let down, for sure.  Although it’s a great cereal, and only slightly different from original Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries (in my opinion), it is still a great cereal – probably because it’s basically Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries.  So, yes, this is a great cereal, but no, it’s not strawberry shortcake. It’s Crunchberry Shortbread.  Damn… that actually sounds pretty amazing.  So, to sum it up, it’s discourcious. Discouraging but delicious.

If you’re looking for strawberry shortcake cereal, you’ll be frusappointed in the lack of the stracakplosion and awkfused by the ratio of bits. Get it for a slightly different take on the classic Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries, but not for the “strawberry shortcake.”  And if you wanna talk shit about it because it’s discourcious, I won’t slap you in that sassy mouth of yours.

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About the author


When I'm not stuffing my face with salty treats made of pure carbohydrates, I'm working out and trying to sweat out the excessive calories I ate.  I live in Dallas, Texas and absolutely love it.  This is the state that fries everything, serves 2 pound chicken fried steak dinners with at least 2 sides that are beautiful, tan and delicious. I eat tacos with ketchup, consider wine and popcorn a meal, put bacon on everything and will slap a fool if he asks for a bite of my beef jerky.

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