Cap’n Crunch Chocolatey Berry Crunch Cereal Review

Cap’n Crunch is a classic cereal we all grew up with, but it’s sad that none of us ever took the time to learn about the man behind the product. The mascot. The dream. The captain. Here’s a little history for us. Cap’n Crunch’s real name is Horatio Magellan Crunch. Born and raised on the “Crunch Island in the Sea of Milk”, he currently captains a ship called the Guppy….when he’s not busy with his cereal box photoshoots. Cap’n Crunch may be French (although not confirmed). And the biggest detail of them all — Cap’n Crunch really isn’t a captain. His uniform features only three stripes — not the four needed to be a captain. Cap’n Crunch has lead us on, but it’s all good because his cereals are always on point.

According to several of our sources from the Guppy ship, Cap’n Crunch went missing for a few days. No one knows where he was. Typical shady Horatio crap. However, it all makes sense. He was clearly out for a few days for his Chocolately Berry Crunch Cereal photoshoot! Out for Valentine’s Day, this is clearly how Cap’n Crunch gets romantic.

Chocolately Berry Crunch Cereal features two flavors in one — berry and chocolate! Chocolate and strawberry is a classic and irresistible flavor combination. It’s a Valentine’s Day staple. The cereal box only mentions it being ‘berry’ and makes no mention of any specific berries. Crossing my fingers we get a distinct strawberry taste!

Sadly, the berries are just the typical Cap’n Crunch berry flavor with a bright red coloring. One would think it would be gross with the chocolate puffs, but it’s actually not that bad. The semi-tartness from the berries followed by the touch of chocolate was….satisfying. Yup. Nothing ridiculously good. I wasn’t feeling the connection. However, if they had actually went with a noticeable strawberry flavor (rather than berry), I probably would’ve adored this cereal. I hope Cap’n Crunch is out there on the Guppy somewhere around Crunch Island in the Sea of Milk counting in his money, getting ready for his Valentine’s date. Let’s just hope this isn’t served to his sexy hot date. It’s not really special.

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About the author


I steal my nieces’ Halloween candy and laugh about it, put whipped cream on vegetables, don’t trust food that isn’t in a package, and worship ice cream. Chips are my favorite snack and might just end up being my downfall. I would marry Flamin' Hot Cheetos if it was legal (and not weird). Born and raised near Detroit, I grew up eating delicious coney dogs, unique pizzas, and of course --- all the best snacks.

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