Ahhh, summertime. My favorite time of the year. Mostly because of food. Burgers, hot dogs, ribs, carnival food, corn dogs, watermelon, corn, barbecue sauce….oh and, we apparently can’t forget ranch. According to the Cheetos flavor, Frito-Lay seems to think ranch is a summer favorite. I don’t agree — ranch is for always. And forever. Ranch is life. Although Cheetos kinda already did a ranch flavor (Chipotle Ranch), there was never an official ranch flavor. I always dreamt of one, and my fatass even e-mailed Frito-Lay a several years back suggesting this flavor. Although I don’t remember what I wrote them exactly, the message probably said something like this:
“Dear Frito Lay,
My name is Jason and I am your number one fan. Please make my wildest dreams come true and release a ranch flavor for Cheetos. I am losing sleep at night waiting for my dream to become a reality…”
With no announcement from Frito-Lay that hinted these were coming, my heart literally skipped a beat when I spotted these at Walmart. My dreams have came true. Although I am still pissed at Frito-Lay for never replying back t0 my e-mail, I looooove me some Cheetos. I immediately tossed a bag in my cart and rushed home to give them a try.
Before we dive into the flavor review, I want to take a second to rant about the bag. The bag features Chester the Cheetah carrying a picnic basket. What’s in the picnic basket? Ranch. Just ranch. Wait…I’m sorry — Summertime Ranch. Who the fuck takes only ranch to a picnic? Okay now that my little rant is out of the way, we can dive right into the review.
I open the bag and notice that the shapes really are stars. Not blobs pretending to be stars, but they legit shaped them like actual stars. I though that was cool. I then notice the scent…smells a bit like Doritos Cool Ranch flavor (which is one of my favorites). Here’s what is most important…taste. MMMmmmMMM! Yup, these are so good.
We’ve all had Doritos Cool Ranch at some point. Well, these taste exactly like them. That same bold, zesty ranch flavor that we all love is now available in Cheetos form! When you look closely at the chips, or ‘stars’, you can see the exact seasoning used in the Doritos…the blue and red specks. However, with these being ‘stars’, the texture is a bit different compared to regular Cheetos. If you’ve ever had Cheetos Puffs, they are pretty close to that. This isn’t a bad thing, the light texture of each chip ensures you get a bold, zesty flavor with each bite. Each chip pretty much had the same amount of seasoning on it. They almost melt in your mouth and you can’t stop eating them.
Now it all makes sense now. Chester the Cheetah had ranch in his picnic basket for a damn reason. These ranch Cheetos are going to be a hit at picnics across the nation this summer. Screw the burgers, the sandwiches, the corn….all you need is a bag (or two) of these ranch Cheetos and your life is complete. I will never doubt Chester again.