M&M’s Neapolitan Review

M&M’s Neapolitan Review

I’m a grammar police officer. Can you hear those sirens? That’s just me pulling you over for butchering the English language. I’m proud of it and know it’s just one of my adorable quirks. So when I see people write “1980’s” as opposed to the correct “1980s” or spell the conjunction for you are as “your,” it gets on my nerves in a not so adorable way. It gets me in a serious, angry, frustrated, puppy punching way. Don’t make me want to punch puppies. That’s just sick.

So, M&M’s, you can imagine, has always bothered me. It wasn’t until I started researching (another super cute quirk of mine) that I got more frustrated, because the answer was not satisfactory to me. We all know (or should know) the rules of apostrophes and plurals. The candies are named after Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie – the creators. The apostrophe is there to show ownership, as in this is their candy. Mmm-hmmmm.  OK.  I see. I’m still not OK with the apostrophe being used to pluralize acronyms. Therefore, you’ll understand my distain for M&M’s. Ugh, I even hate just typing it, although I respect the rules of proper nouns.

So let’s get on point here, Jeni. I like to trail off into my own world sometimes – just one more super spunky quirk of mine. M&M’s just released a brand new flavor.  It’s not really a spring flavor, nor a summer flavor. This kind of makes the late February reveal appropriate. M&M’s Neapolitan. Yep – that’s the strawberry, vanilla and chocolate ice cream we all know and love. It’s the best of all three classically flavored ice cream worlds. This had to be a huge challenge for M&M’s. Combining all three of those flavors into one bite-size candy….and claiming you’ll taste it all in each piece? Impossible.

When I opened the bag, I was greeted with a pretty damn sweet scent. I can’t put my finger on it, but if I could I would lick that finger. I don’t want to say I can actually smell chocolate, strawberry and vanilla – because that would be cliché and probably not believable.  But it’s pretty damn close to that. This got me excited and gave me hope. After the Peanut Brrr-ittle M&M’s last holiday season, I had high expectations.

The first one I grabbed was white. There are pink, white (more of a cream color or light pink, in reality), and brown M&M’s in this bag. Instead of inspecting it, I just popped that bitch in my mouth and ate it. My first thought was, “Wait a minute…no way…hang on. I need another one.” I couldn’t believe what I tasted, and was afraid that either the marketing or some psychosomatic mind control crap was happening, so I took a pink (cream) one out and ate it.  After that, I was convinced that this wasn’t some weird brain disorder dealing with the aftermath of obsessing on stupid candy grammar for so long. It wasn’t the marketing or brown M&M wearing glasses with detached eyebrows, holding a bowl of neapolitan ice cream, either. It was legit.

They nailed it. They fucking NAILED IT. These M&M’s literally taste like neapolitan ice cream.  I’m honestly in shock a little bit here.  HOW did they get chocolate, strawberry AND vanilla flavors into one piece, AND make it taste amazing? What’s even weirder is that each piece has a vanilla-colored center, which made me think that if the brown ones had vanilla center, they have to have a ring of strawberry in there, and the pink-ish ones must have a layer of chocolate. Not so, my friends.  They are all the exact same, except for the color of the candy shell. Deceivingly clever, M&M’s.

These are also bigger than the average M&M’s (or is it M&M….hmmmm, I won’t get into it). They are the size of peanut M&M’s, only flatter. That makes the flavors really pop and probably gave them more room to blend. It also makes it easier to spend over $3 on an 8oz bag at Target for these. If I knew how good these were going to be, I would have paid $5.

This is a win in my book.  I might even be able to forgive Mars for letting the brand get away with pluralizing an acrynom. During the course of this review, I’ve eaten about 8 of these Neapolitan M&M’s, and the more I eat, the more convinced I am that this is the best flavor they’ve ever created. It’s classic yet not kitchy, and it’s definitely not overdone in the market. Way to go, M&M’s!  Keep your stupid apostrophe.  I’ll keep eating.