Oscar Mayer Natural Meat & Cheese Plates Review

Junk food feeds my soul.  I will take a cheeseburger over a bowl of celery any day.  I’d rather eat chicken fingers than kale.  If it’s a processed product, I want it. Yes, I know it’s “bad” for me.  It will take years off my life.  But I’m not too worried about that because when I was 14 I went to a fair and saw a fortune-telling gypsy.  She told me I would live until I was 96.  Shave off a few years from that, and I still have a good 50 more years to live.  And I’m good with that.

As I was spending some time in Target (because no one just goes to Target and leaves, right?), I spotted these Oscar Mayer Natural Meat & Cheese Plates in the fancy refrigerated section where the expensive cheeses are located. They looked so good and are pretty much a snobby, upscale Lunchable.  I do love Lunchables with their processed meat, factory made “cheese” and delicious crackers.  so these Natural Meat & Cheese Plates look just as good, with bigger pieces of meat and cheese.  16 grams of protein per packages, no artificial ingredients, no artificial preservatives, no added hormones and no artificial flavors or colors.  UGH.  What are you doing to me, Mr. Mayer?

This not-so-healthy eater saw them and scooped up two packages – Honey Smoked Turkey Breast with Asiago Cheese, and Hickory Smoked Uncured Ham with Monterey Jack Cheese. Each has 6 Triscuit-type crackers, 6 pieces of meat and 6 squares of cheese.

As predicted, they really are the rich man’s Lunchable.  I imagine corporate executives that live alone (or marry themselves) in a high-rise loft, only eat organic foods and drink $68 bottles of wine, picking these up for a quick and calorie-conscious lunch.  They are $3.79 each, which is a far cry from the $1 Lunchable.  But, you want natural ingredients, you have to pay more.

First, I tried the Honey Smoked Turkey Breast Asiago Cheese Meat & Cheese Plate.  To my surprise, the meat didn’t have that layer of slime on it.  And the pieces are far bigger than I expected, too. Plus – Asiago Cheese?  FANCY!  I created a little sandwich with one piece of turkey, one piece of cheese and 2 crackers.  It was delightful.  The meat really has a great flavor and I could totally taste the honey in it.  The cheese slices are thicker than I expected and packed  with flavor.  You want natural Asiago Cheese?  Here you go.  I’m a stinky cheese fan, and Asiago is on the lighter side, but it definitely offers a ton of stinky cheese taste.  The crackers are basically the low-salt  Triscuits – although not real Triscuits (I assume, because the brand isn’t on the package anywhere).

Ham is my favorite lunch meat, so I was really excited to try the Hickory Smoked Uncured Ham & Monterey Jack Cheese Plate. It took me two pieces to really get that hickory smoked flavor, but that’s probably because I had just eaten some Asiago and it was still tingling my tastebuds.  Yep – nice smokey flavor, for sure.  The Monterey Jack Cheese lacks a little flavor (but doesn’t it always?), but is super soft and goes perfectly with the ham.  They made a pretty tasty little sandwich with the crackers, and I was really shocked that after filling up, I only ate 3 slices of cheese, 3 slices of meat and 3 crackers.

If I ever start caring more about what I eat, or become a corporate executive living in a loft, I would definitely eat these all the time.  I can see myself buying them if they are on sale, but paying no more than $2.50 for each.  They would be great for taking on road trips or picnics, too.  Upscale Lunchables with natural ingredients – who knew a girl like me could fall in love so quickly?  I’m still going to continue to eat my processed products and junk food in crinkly wrappers.  I really don’t think that gypsy at the fair would lie to me for $3, so I think I’m safe at assuming I’ll live for a while longer.  But when my body is craving something a little more healthy and natural – I will be picking up more of these Meat & Cheese Plates for sure, and that’s saying a lot.

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About the author


When I'm not stuffing my face with salty treats made of pure carbohydrates, I'm working out and trying to sweat out the excessive calories I ate.  I live in Dallas, Texas and absolutely love it.  This is the state that fries everything, serves 2 pound chicken fried steak dinners with at least 2 sides that are beautiful, tan and delicious. I eat tacos with ketchup, consider wine and popcorn a meal, put bacon on everything and will slap a fool if he asks for a bite of my beef jerky.

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