Darn it! Ernie
fucked fudged up. In a major way. The latest batch of Fudge Stripes Cookies are officially #FullyFudged — which means that they’re entirely dipped in chocolate for the first time ever. I have a feeling that either this mistake will be a good one, or it will go down in history as one of the biggest fuck ups ever. Hopefully it doesn’t fall under the biggest fuck ups column…
|Best Mistakes in History||Biggest Fuck Ups in History|
|Invention of potato chips when a fat fuck in a restaurant in 1853 complained that his fries were too soggy.||Blockbuster passing on Netflix. Blockbuster had the opportunity to purchase Netflix in 2000. We all know how that ended.|
|Invention of Post-it Notes when the idiot was trying to make a strong adhesive. Complete opposite happened.||Ronald Wayne selling his Apple stake in 1976. He sold for a pathetic $800. Today, that would be worth a whopping $63 BILLION.|
|Invention of the microwave when the clueless scientist was trying to experiment with a new vacuum tube. Would would we do without the microwave?||Sunchips making a biodegradable bag in 2010. Remember that?! Who could forget. Cool idea, but that bag was the loudest thing ever… even louder than a fucking airplane. Sales tumbled immediately!|
The packaging on this cookie clearly indicates that Ernie fucked up pretty bad. First of all, “Whoopsy!” is on the package. Secondly, look at Ernie’s face. Just look. Nothing says “Oh shit, I fucked up” more than that look. Ernie’s lack of confidence is making me a little uneasy on this one. However, it’s worth noting that I am not the biggest Keebler Fudge Stripes Cookies fan. I eat them, I enjoy them — but I am not crazy about them.
I open the package and it’s confirmed — Ernie did fuck up. All the cookies are dipped in chocolate. It appears that the chocolate is the same type they use in regular Keebler Fudge Stripes Cookies, which honestly, tastes a bit waxy to me. For whatever reason, I was never a fan of the chocolate used in the Fudge Stripe cookies. Whatever though, I still enjoy the cookie! Let’s hope I also enjoy these…
One cookie. Two cookies. Three cookies. I keep eating more to see if something will change my mind about these. Sadly, it doesn’t work. These aren’t anything special. It’s exactly what it is… Fudge Stripes Cookies without the stripes (just all chocolate). Frankly, they don’t taste much different than ordinary Fudge Stripes cookies. They are just the regular cookies — only a bit more of a fudge taste.
I was expecting the extra dose of chocolate to ruin the cookie itself. The crunch, the flavor, the texture…all of it — I figured they would be altered in some way. They got this right because it’s all the same! The buttery and sweet flavor of the cookie underneath the chocolate is there with every bite.
Now, I just want to take a moment to reiterate that these aren’t bad at all. If you enjoy the regular Fudge Stripes, I bet you any money you’ll also enjoy these. They are almost a replica — just a little more chocolate taste. I did enjoy these and I did eat the shit out of them, but honestly, the difference between this fuck up version and the original version is so incredibly slight. If you blindfolded me, fed both to me, and asked me to point out which is which, I legitimately would have a very difficult time. I honestly wish they went with some other type of chocolate — maybe a richer chocolate — for this cookie. #FullyFudged isn’t really full fudged because the fudge here isn’t full. If that makes sense.
Ernie — you dodged a big bullet. Your fuck up doesn’t belong in the ‘Best Mistakes in History’ column above. It also doesn’t make it in the ‘Biggest Fuck Ups in History’ column. This fuck up belongs right in middle somewhere. Maybe we should add a column titled ‘Fuck Ups That No One Cared About’ and this one would be right there….because really, once the world tries these cookies, they’re all gonna agree with me and just forget about Ernie’s fuck up forever.