Mystery Oreos Review

When I first heard that Oreo was planning to release a mystery flavor, I thought to myself that this could be the end. Oreo really might be running out of limited-edition ideas. Then, I heard that Chocolate Hazelnut Oreos are on the way and had a huge sigh of relief. I spotted these Mystery Oreos at Walmart and the package instantly reminded me of the Mystery Airheads. Now that’s something I would be an instant fan of because Mystery Airheads are fucking amazing.

These cookies contain a white mystery creme sandwiched between the original chocolate wafer Oreo cookies. A strong scent is present, but not one I was expecting. It instantly reminds me of Fruit Loops or Fruity Pebbles cereal. Definitely not Mystery Airheads. I’m instantly pissed off but take a bite anyways (we all know I not just gonna throw them out).

What does it taste like? This is going to sound crazy, but it legitimately tastes like the the leftover milk you drink after eating the bowl of Fruit Loops or Fruity Pebbles. It doesn’t taste like these cereals straight up, but it tastes like that fruity milk you are left with after being a fat fuck and eating five bowls of Fruit Loops or Fruity Pebbles cereal. The weird combination of this creme and chocolate cookie wafers — you’ve got yourself a super shitty Oreo.

Looks like a regular Oreo but looks can be deceiving. Just gross.

Fruity milk is the best way to describe this cookie. Why would would anyone want to eat fruity milk? No idea. Oreo really fucked us over on this one. Why couldn’t it have been the Mystery Airheads flavor? I am pretty sure that would have taken America away by storm and would’ve been the best selling limited-edition Oreo flavor of all time.

I honestly think if they decided to go with the vanilla wafers, these wouldn’t have been so horrible. There’s something about that fruity milk flavor combined with the chocolate that makes it taste like garbage. I only had a few of these cookies but I really am considering just taking a hit and throwing the rest of them away. A complete fuck up — I should’ve just thrown them out when I first smelled them.

On the bright side, at least we have a chance at winning some loot. Oreo is letting us submit our best guess of what their mystery flavor is and we can be entered to win a $10,000 or $50,000 check (click here to enter the sweepstakes). Here’s my entry…

Super easy. Now I am just waiting on my $50,000 check!

About the author

Jason

I steal my nieces’ Halloween candy and laugh about it, put whipped cream on vegetables, don’t trust food that isn’t in a package, and worship ice cream. Chips are my favorite snack and might just end up being my downfall. I would marry Flamin' Hot Cheetos if it was legal (and not weird). Born and raised near Detroit, I grew up eating delicious coney dogs, unique pizzas, and of course --- all the best snacks.

8 Comments

  • Bahahahaha I love how you described it! It does have a weird texture in the cream, but it reminded me of that fruit candy coated in sugar you ate as a kid because the grittiness reminded me of that. I personally liked them, but I’m weird about those crazy flavors lol

  • haha even though the mystery was a bit less exciting than it could have been, I think I’m one of the few people that actually enjoys the citrus chocolate combo!

  • I never in my wildest thought there was such a thing as a gross Oreo, but this is one terrible cookie! It reminds me of an artificial tasting diet orange cream soda; awful!!!

  • Completely agree- I took a bite and immediately threw the bag away. Never in my life have I tasted something so horrifyingly disgusting parading itself as America’s favorite cookie. Who in the hell approved this flavor to be released? He/she should be fired immediately! Maybe they did focus groups with some super destitute people who just needed the money and were willing to say whatever because there is no way a large group of normal people bit into this thing and thought it was a homerun.

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